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Kirk Companion is a member of two Jane Austen book clubs in the Boston area, and for one of them, “Austen in Boston,” he also serves as one of the main organizers. The group has met in a variety of places, including Salem, Massachusetts—to discuss Northanger Abbey—and Georges Island in Boston Harbor. They sometimes read books by other writers, including Elizabeth Gaskell and, Kirk says, “Edith ‘I never met an unhappy ending I didn’t like’ Wharton.” I’m happy to introduce his guest post on the romance between Emma and Mr. Knightley. Welcome to Emma in the Snow, Kirk, and thank you to you and the members of Austen in Boston for sharing these beautiful photos with us. (Here’s the Facebook page for the group. You can also find them on Twitter: @AusteninBoston.)
Kirk often goes to JASNA Massachusetts meetings and sometimes travels further to attend JASNA Vermont events. In contrast to Austen in Boston, which holds meetings in public spaces, the other Jane Austen book club he belongs to tends to meet in members’ homes. Kirk tells me he has fond memories of visiting Box Hill on a trip to England a few years ago—he says that “even without the Austen connection it truly is lovely”—and he regrets that he has only a few photos from the trip. Here’s one of them.
He also sent me a recent photo of Boston in the snow.
And he sent a photo from an Austen in Boston meeting at Larz Anderson Park in Brookline, where the group talked about Gaskell’s North and South.
Photo by Rebecca Price
These last two photos are from an Austen in Boston picnic at World’s End, Hingham, which featured a discussion of Wharton’s novel The Age of Innocence.
Photo by Shirley Goh
Photo by Shirley Goh
And here’s Kirk’s contribution to the conversations about Emma and Mr. Knightley.
She was more disturbed by Mr. Knightley’s not dancing, than by any thing else.—There he was, among the standers-by, where he ought not to be; he ought to be dancing…. —so young as he looked!—He could not have appeared to greater advantage perhaps any where, than where he had placed himself…. His tall, firm, upright figure among the bulky forms and stooping shoulders of the elderly men, was such as Emma felt must draw every body’s eyes…. He moved a few steps nearer, and those few steps were enough to prove in how gentlemanlike a manner, with what natural grace, he must have danced, would he but take the trouble.
…
“Whom are you going to dance with?” asked Mr. Knightley.
She hesitated a moment, and then replied, “With you, if you will ask me.”
“Will you?” said he, offering his hand.
“Indeed I will. You have shown that you can dance, and you know we are not really so much brother and sister as to make it at all improper.”
“Brother and sister! no, indeed.”
(Chapter 38, from the Anchor Books edition of Emma, edited and annotated by David M. Shapard [2012])
Mr. Knightley is my favorite Austen hero. I wish I were more like him, so well able to tolerate the Mr. Woodhouses and Miss Bateses of the world. (Sadly, I’m more like his grumpy brother Mr. John Knightley—but enough about me). So, it was surprising to me to that several members of one of my two Austen bookclubs can’t stand the Emma/Mr. Knightley relationship. One person fixated on the fact that Mr. Knightley—being about 16 years older than Emma—has known her since she was an infant. Also, he’s acted as a mentor or surrogate relative throughout Emma’s formative years, especially since Emma hasn’t had a true active parent, given that Mr. Woodhouse has been too concerned with his own health, or guardian, given that Miss Taylor has always been too easy on her.
I was very curious about what others thought about the relationship between Emma and Mr. Knightley, so I discussed it at two different JASNA meetings and two different bookclubs. I had thought the reaction to them towards them was overwhelmingly positive. However, I was very surprised to find that it wasn’t. Some of the responses I heard: “I haven’t really thought about the prior relationship between Emma and Mr. Knightley”; “I don’t care about that”; and “I haven’t thought about it, but yeah … not thrilled by that.” In a group of five Janeites, the vote was 2½ for the romantic relationship between Emma and Mr Knightley and 2½ against, with one person arguing both in favour of and against the romance.
I’d be interested to know what all of you think of the romance. Does it bother you that Mr. Knightley is so much older than Emma? Do you think their marriage will be a happy one?
Nineteenth in a series of blog posts celebrating 200 years of Jane Austen’s Emma. To read more about all the posts in the series, visit Emma in the Snow. Coming soon: guest posts by Margaret C. Sullivan, Cinthia Garcia Soria, and Carol Chernega.
Subscribe by email or follow the blog so you don’t miss these fabulous contributions to the celebrations! And/or follow along by connecting with me on Facebook, Pinterest, or Twitter (@Sarah_Emsley).
Sarah Emsley 
There seem to be two different possible objections to the relationship. The first is the large age difference between Knightley and Emma. Another obvious example of this age difference comes from Austen’s writing from Sense and Sensibility with Colonel Brandon and Marianne’s marriage.
Addressing this in the contemporary context, large age differences between spouses was much more common in Georgian times. Sometimes it was due to a younger man marrying a much older (and wealthier) woman, for example Dr Johnson and his wife Tetty, a widow 20 years older than him. So this potential objection should be recognised as merely reflecting the customs of the time and nothing “creepy”.
The second objection and probably the more troubling for modern people in this day of stories of child abuse and grooming, is the relationship of Knightley and Emma from her childhood.
Again there are some mitigating factors. Emma and Knightley live in a small town with no very eligible partners of similar status and wealth. Neither seem to travel much, even though London is so close so George, at least could have been expected to make an effort to find a wife there. John has snapped up Emma’s older sister who was probably the only other person in Highbury who would have been considered eligible for George.
George’s position as a mentor and guide for the young Emma does ring alarm bells in these days of pedophilia scares. However, to me, it seems that his early love for her as a young and intelligent child only matured into a more adult love as she grew up and became a beautiful young lady. He certainly does not act on his love and attraction until she was full grown and he fears that another may win her..
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Well said Adam! I feel a bit like Edward Everett to your Abraham Lincoln…”Everett’s oration was followed by the now far more famous Gettysburg Address of President Lincoln. For his part, Everett was deeply impressed by the concise speech and wrote to Lincoln noting ‘I should be glad if I could flatter myself that I came as near to the central idea of the occasion, in two hours, as you did in two minutes.’ ”
I especially like your reference to Marianne Dashwood and Col Brandon. As a card carrying member of Team Marianne, I highly dislike negative comments about their marriage. Interesting point about Isabella Woodhouse too. I do wonder if Mr Knightley might consider her as too close to a “silly wife” to have considered her, even if his brother hadn’t married her. Cheers!
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Good points. At thirteen she would have been of marriageable age, so perhaps Mr Knightley’s feelings wouldn’t have been so frowned upon at the time. It still sounds weird to me: a man in his late twenties obsessing about the whims and tantrums of a child not his own! I do like him in general but I find this kind of behaviour hard to explain.
From the social and economic point of view, however, it might make sense. Her father and governess are too indulgent, so he steps in and manages effectively to instill traditional values in her. She appreciates “true gentility” and “untainted blood” and now knows that she should associate with her “equals,” at least “as far as regards society and all the habits and manners that are important,” and that certain people should be left in the social stratum to which they belong. All very reassuring: the “sort of notch in the Donwell Abbey estate” won’t pose a threat to the old way of life and unavoidable change will at least be kept under control.
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I just finished reading the novel about a week ago. To me, the idea was a little bit distasteful as he seemed more like a parent than a suitor earlier in the book. I suspected that they may end up together, but I was rooting for Frank Churchill near the end.
I know that age differences in Georgian times were disregarded, but looking at it in this day and age, I know that I would not want my 21 year old friend to marry a 37 year old man.
Mr. Knightly does win some brownie points when he suggests moving in with Emma so her father won’t be lonely, but the whole thing just doesn’t satisfy.
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I think we are over sensitive today about big age differences and, as Adam Q says, the child abuse/grooming issue is always hanging over us. I have never thought of the Emma/Knightly relationship in that way. Such age differences were commonplace in marriages in Austen’s day (and later). Sexual mores have changed such and it is sometimes difficult to imagine what is truly shared by a couple whose ages are even five or six years apart. I note this issue both in real life and in modern fiction.
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Well said!!!!
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Sorry, not quite sure what went wrong in my typing – I meant to write ‘…mores have changed so much …’
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Even from the time when I first read Emma, which was my first Jane Austen book and has remained the one I like best, – I assumed that Emma would marry Mr Knightley, and was not worried by the age difference.
I discovered it could be a problem when I read the book once more with gender studies people – feminists -. They introduced the notions of overwhelmonf patriarchy, surrogate father, called Freud, Lacan and others to their help, and made a whole issue of it.
I thought it was not necessary to argue when I was rebuked. But I still think that to other times, other mores. Not so far away, at the end of the 19th century, one of my great-great-grand-fathers lost his first wife and had two young children to educate. He remarried with my great-great-grand-mother who was very, very much younger than him. He died in 1924 and she survived until 1941, dying of a cancer rather than old age. They hadhad three children who were brought up as brothers and sisters to the two by the first marriage. From testimonies by contemporaries and “her” diaries, they seemed to have been happy. This was not scandalous even at this time…
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I would like to argue in favor of the couple. I always thought that they would complement each other well. And they both know what they are getting into, although here I have to admit that I think Mr. Knightly is getting the slighter smaller end of the stick. 🙂
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Yes, yes, yes! Thank you for comments! Cheers!
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Political correctness aside, I have always felt that Knightley treats Emma like an immature child to be guided down the straight and narrow path of righteousness. It’s a very unequal relationship. She’s not a stupid woman, but he has no real respect for her natural wit and intelligence. I see the marriage progressing according to the story “Poor Emma” by Reginald Hill, published in his collection “There are no ghosts in the Soviet Union.”
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As irony would have it, that vile story was inflicted on me by one of the people mentioned in the post. Happily for me other works of Jane Austen Fan Fiction portray the marriage has completely happy, as all fans of Emma/Mr Knightley knew it will be. See also Barbara Cornthwaite’s two part Mr Knightley “parallel” stories “Charity Envieth Not” and Lend Me Leave” and Joan Austen-Leigh’s “A Visit to Highbury” and “Later Days at Highbury”.
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The problem is, Emma acts like a spoiled and immature child. She toys with the happiness of others, for her own entertainment, to a reckless degree. She’s d***ned lucky she didn’t ruin Harriet & Jane Fairfax’s lives, neither of whom deserved it.
I don’t think there’s any problematic disparity. Mr. Knightley begins to capitulate almost immediately, saying in Chap. 17, “My interference was quite as likely to do harm as good. it was very natural for you to say, what right has he to lecture me?…I do not believe I did you any good.”
I disagree with Mr. Knightley, however, for better or worse, he is re-thinking his lecturing ways. Just as another example, we also have evidence that Mr. Knightley has taken the trouble to get to know Harriet better at least partly because of Emma’s interest in her.
And, lest we think Emma has lost her spirit, in Chap. 18 in their discussion of Harriet’s engagement to Robert Martin, Emma says, “I always deserve the best treatment because I never put up with any other.” I think we could put that on her tombstone.
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The age difference in the current timeline of the story didn’t bother me so much as Mr. Knightley talking about how he was scoping Emma out when she was 13 and he was 26. He an Emma joked about it. Barf. Was that acceptable in Austen’s time?
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I had originally intended to widely quote David M Shapard’s annotations in “The Annotated Emma” Annotated and Edited by David M. Shapard 2012 Anchor Books, however my editor didn’t want the post to be 5 times longer and 10 times more confusing! 🙂 Of reply to your specific comment, Shapard pg 823 Vol III, Chapter XVII
“6. in love with: very fond of, full of love for. The term was often used outside of a romantic or sexual context then; Mr Knightley has said that he started thinking of Emma as a potential wife only recently.” If he had been doing what you suggest, I won’t be here defending him. 🙂 Cheers!
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Thanks! Kind of how “making love” doesn’t mean what is means today?
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I hate to Mr Elton but “Exactly so”! 🙂
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Yet Emma seems to take it, perhaps playfully, in the romantic sense: “And if poor little Anna Weston is to be spoiled, it will be the greatest humanity in you to do as much for her as you have done for me, except falling in love with her when she is thirteen.”
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Oh, she’s just teasing him, I’m sure. 🙂
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Oh, editors. They can be so troublesome!
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Indeed! I think I was being conservative with the 5x longer 10x more confusing. Lol, and I would have been rewriting and rewriting and not lopping nor chopping to the very last minute. THANKS! 🙂
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Rearadmiral, regardless of what the contemporary definition of “in love” was, the implication is that Knightley’s feelings for Emma changed when she was 13. that is, when she hit puberty. Since he knew her from birth, why wouldn’t he have said he’s been in love with her for her entire life? I am sorry but to modern sensibilities it’s icky. Think how you would feel if a 29 year old man you knew told you he was in love with a 13 year old (and the age difference is 16 years not 13). It’s like all those photographs that Lewis Carroll took of little girls in what to modern eyes look like provocative poses. Perhaps it’s just what was done in Victorian times, but again, it is disturbing to many people today with our greater knowledge of child molesters.
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It’s not political correctness, Jane Austen had eyes, and saw the pedophilia that was probably all too common in her world, and she registered her outrage the only way she could and still be published– by doing it covertly.
It’s no accident that one of the key allusive subtexts of Emma is Shakespeare’s late “romance”, Pericles, which is an extended riff on father-daughter incest, as these two posts indicate:
Puzzles, Pericles & Pregnancy in Emma:
http://tinyurl.com/nenmw7l http://tinyurl.com/p4hdc6s
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ew no. homie this was not pedophilic in the least. Knightly never pursued Emma as a child. Their relationship and his feelings change and progressed as she matured and realized her faults throughout the novel. His “love” for her as a child remained as familial affection up until Frank Churchill came into the picture. And to allude an incestuous relationship when nothing in this book pertains to it whatsoever.
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We obviously completely disagree, Alyssa, and my linked post illustrates the many disturbing parallels between Emma and Shakespeare’s Pericles.
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Hi, Kirk, so nice to see you in this setting! I have to say I’m one of those in the anti-romance camp where Emma and Mr. Knightley are concerned. My reasons may be tinged by feminism, though I promise not to cite Lucan or Freud! I feel the dynamics of their relationship were set early on, with Knightley sitting in judgment on Emma and her trying to please him—or rebelling against trying to please him (neither option a great basis for an ongoing relationship). It’s hard for the one holding that kind of power position to relinquish it as the other person develops and grows her independent identity. I picture Emma at forty really resenting the assumptions of superiority made my her husband. Jane Austen was, after all, writing in a post-Wollstonecraft age, and she was very aware of the invidious position of women in her society.
If Knightley had been sometimes playful and jolly with her, instead of always sitting on his throne, I would like him better. As it is, he’s my least favorite Austen hero and their marriage seems to me the most certain of producing misery. I’d contrast him to Henry Tilney, who teases and guides Catherine Morland but in a kind and supportive way.
That said, I don’t really see the skeevy elements others have cited: it’s possible to look at a thirteen-year-old and think, “I bet she’ll be really something when she’s grown up,” without making it a kind of sexual predation on the thirteen-year-old. It’s more a recognition of potential. I think it’s as innocent as an adult today complimenting a young boy or girl by saying, “You’re going to be a real heart-breaker one day.”
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Hi Abigail, thanks for saying that about the setting! Very strange for me to be here indeed.
I thank you for your rational opposition. Being in full Marianne Dashwood mode concerning Mr Knightley and Emma, I can’t claim the same. 🙂
I can agree with your last paragraph. Here’s a reply to another comment:
“I had originally intended to widely quote David M Shapard’s annotations in “The Annotated Emma” Annotated and Edited by David M. Shapard 2012 Anchor Books, however my editor didn’t want the post to be 5 times longer and 10 times more confusing! 🙂 Of reply to your specific comment, Shapard pg 823 Vol III, Chapter XVII
“6. in love with: very fond of, full of love for. The term was often used outside of a romantic or sexual context then; Mr Knightley has said that he started thinking of Emma as a potential wife only recently.” If he had been doing what you suggest, I won’t be here defending him.”
As you might remember, contrasting Mr K with Mr Tilney is a perfect way to have me disagree. He is absolutely the last on my heroes list(yes, even Edmund gets a higher grade). “Kind and supportive way”??? No, No, No. I won’t bore you with my full comments on “The Tilney” but for one thing. We know Mr K loves Emma. Period. FulI Stop. I don’t and will never believe “The Tilney” truly loves dear dear Catherine(especially as portrayed by Felicity Jones).
I’m not saying that Mr K will have to grow some and not correct Emma as he once did. He will have to let some things go and that will be hard for him. One of the benefits of living in Hartfield for the first two years of their marriage is that he can’t strongly correct Emma in front of Mr Woodhouse(James Edward Austen-Leigh related, in case you don’t know, that Jane Austen had said Mr Woodhouse would live two years). Were they living in Donwell Abbey those two years, I might be a little more worried.
Cheers!
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Thanks again for your contribution to the series, Kirk, and for raising such interesting questions about the novel. It’s great to have you here!
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Thanks for asking me! Although I’m sure you had doubts when you saw the 1st-15th drafts……:)
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Regarding the much-abused Henry Tilney: I just reread NA and was struck by how kind he was to Catherine after finding her in his mother’s bedroom. He chided her on the spot, certainly, but that evening he took pains to make no reference to it and to be extra-soothing. And he interfered on several occasions when his father was embarrassing her. That said, I don’t have the highest hopes for the marriage, either, because Catherine seems to me a very dim bulb. (Good instincts, maybe, but no powers of reason.)
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“Very dim bulb”?????? How very very unkind! 😦 😦 I prefer “refreshingly naive”, as a meme I found earlier this week says.
Channeling my inner Darcy referring to Wickham in P&P ’95…oh how kind he was indeed.
He fills(fuels) her head with Abbey ghost stories and then expects her to not act on that? Really?
“Chided her on the spot”? What he said was to me one of the most overblown comments in all of Austen. “It can’t happen here because we are all holy”….please. As a man of the world, he knows it can happen there.
If he knows his father is acting wrong to her, why does he leave her alone(he knows that Eleanor can’t stand up to her father and not suffer “major” consequences) in that house of horrors?
In Emma 09, Mr Knightley watches Mr Elton ride away from Hartfield with Emma’s painting of Harriet. He turns to Emma and says something like “That man is so full of himself, it’s a wonder he stays on the horse”. For me, that applies to the much over praised Tilney.
Best wishes from Mr Aston Daniels(MAD) 🙂
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Gosh, I’m a feminist and I see Mr. Knightley in a different light completely. I don’t see him as a dominator. A bit of friendly chiding, but most of the stuff he brings up is on point. She’s kind of a teense of a spoiled mean girl at times. He tries to help her see that. In the end, he admits that it was her good nature and not his chiding that caused her to change this aspect aka being “spoilt”. I like that he knows she’s not a mean girl and that’s why he tasks her on it when she 1.) possibly ruins Harriet’s chances for a good marriage for life 2.) ridicules poor Miss Bates and other such instances.
But to me, Emma seems to have the upper hand. She refuses to accept he’s right about Robert Martin but he still agrees to make up with her and let it pass.
Later he quotes some of the backtalk when she was a little girl — “Mr. Knightley, I’m going to do so and so” and it seems pretty clear that she didn’t listen to him then either (Vol 3, chapter 17). I feel that she will be still have a backbone once she’s Mrs. Knightley. Also, I think much of his criticism/guidance will be done bc this was stuff that she grew out of.
When he thought she loved Frank Churchill. He backed off and took himself away. Knowing Mr. Woodhouse as he does, he could easily have sabotaged the romance by sounding the alarm … or in other ways tried to interfere. So I don’t think he is trying to control her.
He does point out some of her faults, but much of their banter is fun and teasing. Like when he calls Frank Churchill “amiable” only in French. Haha! That is what I like about Mr. Knightley. He’s really funny.
I think Mr. Darcy (as much as I adore him) will give Lizzy a much harder time. And it bothers me that in the end of that novel he still looks down on her family so much. That has potential to be an underlying issue in their marriage…
In my reading, Emma and Mr. Knightley end up as somewhat equals. But that is not how everyone sees it I know …
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Prior to reading your post, I don’t think it ever occurred to me that anyone would be troubled by the relationship between Emma and Mr. Knightley. Theirs is a relationship built solidly on friendship and mutual understanding.
Of all of Austen’s couples, they may have the best chance at marital happiness. After all, as much as we love the sparks that fly between Elizabeth and Darcy, the reality is that his aunt, as his sole living “parental figure,” despises Lizzy. And Darcy doesn’t exactly enjoy the company of Elizabeth’s family. In contrast, there’s already a great deal of camaraderie between Emma’s father and Mr. Knightley. They won’t have to fight about money or relatives –two of the top things couples fight about.
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Thank you! In keeping with my Team Marianne ways, I always try to forget/ignore the money aspect but that’s a great point! If John and Isabella Knightley had any serious problems, that might get awkward. I think the fault would almost all John’s fault and Mr Knightley would certainly call him out if need be. Thanks and cheers!
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I don’t have a problem with the age difference, and I don’t imagine Mr. Knightley had any inappropriate designs on Emma. But, I do question the growth of a romantic love between two people who were almost like family (like a niece and uncle). I especially question it on the part of the younger party, in this case Emma. There is a power inequality there, and I wonder will it show up in their marriage? Maybe they can be content in their marriage, but can they have an equal one? Or a passionate one?
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I hoping that Emma’s spunk will cheer/brighten him….much like Marianne Dashwood will cheer up and enliven Colonel Brandon. Certainly they won’t be the most passionate couple but more than just rational. I don’t think Emma will stand for not having an equal one. Cheers!
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I like to imagine that you’re right!
Also, I never had any kind of objection to it until I read your post, so it obviously got me thinking. 🙂
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Indeed, 🙂
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I find “Emma” pure genius and the relationship between Emma and Mr. Knightley moving and persuasive. I have sometimes thought it odd, though, that a man of Mr. K’s wealth and age would have waited so long to get married. Ok, so maybe he fell in love with Emma when she was 13 and he (non-creepily) waited for her to grow up. But he was already 30 then! What about before that, either from the point of view of his sexual/romantic needs, or the practical need for a woman to run things around the house, which we know was important in the era? I would have found him more plausible as a widower. But I have to think Jane Austen knew what she was doing.
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Thanks for your interesting reply! In lovely fan fiction by Barbara Cornthwaite(George Knightley, Esquire: Charity Envieth Not(volume 1) and George Knightley, Esquire: Lend Me Leave(volume 2)) has Mr K “dating” but finding those he meets lacking in some way compared to Emma. Soooo, he’s not waiting for Emma to grow up but she is sorta of a “gold standard”. And, he never thinks that she would be interested in him. Lol, nor Jane Fairfax(which rules out the nonsense about Mr K marrying Emma for the money). The one thing I agree with my book club “Mr K/Emma” hating friend is that some kind of Mr. K back story would be helpful. Had his heart broken early? A true romantic and was waiting for the “right one” to come along?(my preferred answer!) Etc. Cheers!
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I don’t object to the Emma/Knightley relationship as it is written in the book – I accepted it as I read it. Emma and Mr. Knightley are close friends, know each other well, like and respect each other before they are in love. They are both strong, intelligent and honourable. There is no one else who could take the place of the other in their hearts. As for the objections listed before: I wasn’t disturbed by the age difference (it was era appropriate).Their relationship when Emma was 13: I don’t think “being in love” refers to “being attracted sexually”. He may have meant “love” in a friendly sense, or also thinking her to be really special: very intelligent, charming, and let’s not forget that she took the place of mistress of the house at 12 so she must have assumed a more adult role than any modern 12 year old. The problem of Mr. Knightley being always the lecturer, always in the right, the superior: it is somewhat of a danger, but I think by the end Mr. Knightley tries very hard to overcome it. He realizes that it was to Emma’s credit to bear with his criticism (when she might have rebelled at it) and that her own good principles did more for her than his criticisms. Even more to his credit is how he tells Emma about Harriet’s engagement to Robert Martin – acknowledging that she has a right to disagree and saying: “I wish our opinions were the same. But in time, they will. Time, you may be sure, will make one or other of us to think differently” – not saying what he did earlier in the novel that since he was older and more experienced he must always be right.
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I take great pleasure in reading your lovely thoughts! Cheers and thanks so much! 🙂
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Wow – lots of conversation already. I’ve always been troubled by the Emma/Knightly pairing, but not because of any modern-day reasons or thoughts of pedophilia. It’s simply the idea that a much older spouse is going to act as a parent to the other and always treat him or her like a child. Since he’s been giving Emma fatherly type advice all her life anyway, this will not stop once they are married. Now, I know that a lot of marriages in those times were already assuming the man had complete authority in the household, so this wouldn’t be so different from any other marriage, but I still would wish for more of a marriage between equals.
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Thx for your response. Interesting and I can’t say I don’t worry a bit about his still correcting her too much. As I pointed out somewhere on my “too” many replies….he can’t correct her much in front of Mr Woodhouse for the two years they are living in Hartfield. Hopefully he will much the adjustment, as I think he will, to treat Emma as truly an adult equal. Cheers!
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I’m not sure of a happy ending for Emma in this marriage because the odds are that Emma will once again be catering to and coddling another old man in another decade or two. In other words, find herself in a repeat of her current home situation.
Then again, in the best of all fictional worlds, marrying Knightly may offer her not only a loving husband, but a loving father figure as well.
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I think Mr Knightley has 30+ good years left in him! Unlike Mr Woodhouse, Mr K is highly active mentally and physically. He will age well and live long and prosper. 🙂 I do like your last sentence.
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As someone whose father was ten years older than her mother, and who had a big crush on a MUCH older cousin as a teenager, I never even thought about having a problem with the Mr. K./Emma marriage until reading this post and its comments! And I agree the relationship is also absolutely “era-appropriate.”
As to the partners’ equality: I think Emma will hold her own quite well as the years go on: she has wit, intelligence, charm…as well as tact and diplomacy, which will contribute to her growing wisdom. I think Austen knew that chronological age mattered much less than “the meeting of true minds” and that Emma and George will be good for each other.
As a marginal note, I wonder if perhaps we try to read too much into — and project too many of our 21st-century ideas on — Austen’s stories. After all (as Sigmund Freud so famously put it, much later) “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” 😸
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Beautifully written by you, thank you!!! 🙂
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As others have mentioned – I think it’s era-appropriate.
But it also serves an important function in the storyline. It allowed the opportunity for both characters to have a change of heart/revelation/moment of self-discovery – that the things they believed about themselves to be true have changed because they have grown as they went through this story.
Emma viewed romantic relationships as though they should be entertainment. She certainly would not settle for anyone less than her expectations, and knowing she’d never meet anyone who could satisfy her ideal, had no real inclination to find a partner. Why should she, she essentially was her own mistress.
Knightly on the other hand viewed romantic relationships from a more practical perspective, makes his choices based on wrong, right, and sound judgement. He would choose sensibly if the time ever came that he should want a wife.
The moments of revelation came at different points for each of them. Knightly scoffed at being considered brother/sister with Emma. His sense of surprise made him think deeper… he began to see Emma as a woman in her own right and not a member of his family. It was Emma’s sense of romance, silliness, softness, and imagination that made him realize there was more to this love thing than finding a compatible partner. That he did love and adore emma and all her faults, that didnt make sense to him, but he realized he loved her despite his preconceived notions.
Emma on the other hand, who would submit to no man, began to see Knightly as her own property only after Harriet expressed her interest. To have another lady supplant her place in the eyes of her mentor, her guide, her lifelong friend – no. She began to come around to the idea that Knightly was in the marriageable market – he was a man, a young man. When she thought about someone else being his wife, she began to realize that she herself was better for the submission and guidance Knightly had given her, and began to feel that submitting to a husband might not be so bad – as long as it was Knightly. Knightly overcame his objection to love based on feelings. Emma overcame her objection to submitting to a man as her husband.
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Methinks you should have written the post rather than me! Very very well done indeed by you. Cheers and thx! 🙂
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thanks. I think discussions like this are great. Its nice to know there are lots of people out there thinking about and analysing these great characters and stories.
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I agree, Martine — great to see so much discussion. Thanks again, Kirk, for helping to focus our attention on this question!
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Kirk, can we possibly never had this discussion on any of your travels to our Vermont meetings (where we love having you visit!)??
So I must start with this important fact – my father was 16 years older than my mother, so I never once gave a second thought to Knightley (she calls him “Knightley”!!) being much older than Emma. I always thought it was rather romantic. It was also consistent with the era as others have pointed out. I never read Emma, as I had P&P and S&S as a teenager, so never thought of it in terms of my own reality either – as the “yuk” factor. I never actually thought much about it at all until I took a Jane Austen film class at UVM (given by the terrific Rebecca McLaughlin) and had a wonderful experience viewing Austen through the eyes of college students who had never read her or seen the films. Across the board everyone (women and men) was _totally grossed out_ by Knightley and Emma ending up together. And we all talked about that a good deal – why? is it our 21st century generation, a feminist rejection of a patriarchal society, and / or the current disgust factor of pedophiles (not to say that such didn’t exist in Jane Austen’s day, but I just don’t think that is what Austen is writing about here)…. – I also think the movies (especially the Beckinsale / Strong version) emphasize this more – this idea of Knightley loving Emma in some perverse way as a young girl (I think Andrew Davies even commented on that – seemed nearly disgusted by it himself)… but I think this all misses the point.
We see Knightley lecturing, chiding, scolding Emma throughout – I think he cares deeply for her as family and as someone who has potential to be a fine person, but who is not getting enough guidance from those around her. Her sister ends up with John – she never would have done for him at all. But I think he is a dedicated man to his estates and his responsibilities, never married because there were so few options (and why Mrs. Weston clearly thinks he’s in love with Jane Fairfax) – we might wonder at his back story, wonder where he finds sexual release, etc (and why we have such fan fiction to fill in the gaps) – but the fact is that Austen gives us all we need to know – Emma grows in this book from a selfish, coddled, meddling young lady to a woman who knows her own heart. Knightley grows to understand that his feelings for Emma are not what they originally were as a guardian (when has such a scenario not happened in real life??) – he loves her to distraction and must remove himself from her because he sees her throwing herself away on Frank Churchill, and thus now unavailable to him – there are many clues throughout the book that Knightley has these feelings for Emma, but he too is not aware of them until the risk of losing her becomes a real possibility – he has no thought that she feels the same, yet he finally blurts it out in hopes that in time she might come to love him as he does her – is there anything any more romantic than this?
There are also many clues throughout that Emma and Knightley work very well together (recall the scene with the snow – it is they who solve it all while everyone else is wringing their hands!); they both deal beautifully with Mr. Woodhouse; they are intellectual equals, they have the same moral values – I don’t see a marriage of the older man controlling the younger woman – we are forgetting that Emma has grown in these pages and she is more than capable of standing up to anyone – she is not who she was on page one – and I think that Knightley needs no longer to be so serious around her, always in teacher-mode – we must remember that much of his chiding is forged out of jealousy, not patriarchal tyranny …
So Kirk, I am with you on this – Mr. Knightley is a Hero of the first order – the only thing I cannot agree with you is about Henry Tilney – I adore him! – so we must talk further on this!
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Thanks Deb!!!! I find it stunning that all the students didn’t like the Emma/Mr K pairing. Soon after reading your great reply above I saw that All Things Jane Austen posted the blog and comments are running 80%/20% in favor of the match!! “Hero of the first order” a perfect description!
Lol, you must have seen my reply to Abigail Bok. Mr Aston Daniels(MAD) would like to report that the best line in Austen in Boston history belongs to Shirley G “Tilney is a regency metrosexual”. I believe she meant it as a compliment. However, for MAD he is the kind of guy who helps the little old lady across Comm Ave. but then bumps into several people on Newbury St because he is yapping on his phone and drinking his poison brew. Cheers and thx!!!
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Great comment. I agree completely. Mr. Knightley … swoon!
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Such a lot of interesting responses and interesting problems! I was never concerned about the age disparity. I noticed it, but basically said, okay, Jane, if you say so. My only real problem is one raised by others – what’s George been doing all these years? it would help to have some clue as to his romantic history. Austen, though, seems focused on presenting him as a mature, responsible land holder/farmer, pillar of the community.
I confess the first several times (!) I read Emma, I did not take to the Emma/George pairing. Not because of age, just there seemed so little *romance*. Certainly none of the Lizzie/Darcy sparks and none of the Anne/Frederick yearning. It was only re-reading it this year for this series that I really twigged to the foundation of friendship that Austen lays for this pair. Their long, long knowledge of each other. Their partnership in caring for Emma’s father (which George is already involved with this, just as a neighbor and friend.) The similarity of their fortunes and standing in the community. Their ability to put their heads together and figure out how to get the dinner party home in the snow!
I feel these two are rock solid. They know each other really well, including faults. They are not going to be surprised. They will continue to clash – they clash and misunderstand each other when George tells Emma about Harriet’s engagement. Then, they work it out. Emma says she was a fool, George says he’s changed also and grants Emma Harriet’s good qualities and even attributes them partially to Emma’s influence.
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“Rock solid”….I like that!! Thank you so much for stopping by! Cheers!
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I have enjoyed all these comments, and can relate, especially, to the personal confessions. My first really serious crush on someone, as an adult not as a child or teen, was with someone twenty years older than myself, so this does certainly happen!
I was interested by this chain for another reason too, though.
An older man, a family friend, someone who watched an intelligent girl grow up, and who seems to have fed that intellect through his own learning and conversation with her. Love develops between them, apparently deep, and mutual. Sound familiar?
I’m currently working on a biography about Emily Dickinson, and the scenario I describe above was her real life.
There doesn’t seem to be any question that she fell in love with Judge Otis Lord, a friend of her father’s, and someone who was 18 years older than she was. And her love seems to have been returned.
Thinking about Emily Dickenson’s patterns of attraction, not just people who we think probably were her lovers but also people who were her close friends, has made me think much more about the situation of women before our own time — about previous eras in which if you were a particularly brilliant woman your avenues for achieving an education were limited.
Books, of course, serve their purpose, but imagine a world without university classrooms and teachers! For most intelligent women until now, and for too many in the world still, this remained the case. And yet we all hunger for intelligent exchanges, not just reading, but discussion, debate, working things through. This is a deep human hunger, and especially for those who are intelligent and have a strong sense of curiosity.
In Dickinson’s case, almost all of her closest friends were extremely intelligent and well-educated, and this makes me think that the key thing that Jane Austen probably observed, and no doubt felt herself, was a strong attraction to those people (and in her society they were almost exclusively older men) who had the kind of intelligence AND education (whether from school or just greater experience with life and the world) that allowed them to serve as a kind of surrogate college for bright women, in a world in which that option remained basically otherwise closed for them.
I think that was the source of primary attraction in real life for Dickinson and Lord, and in closely observed fiction for Emma and Knightly. If love, romantic love, sometimes develops on the heels of friendship, and animated intellectual discussion, well, that’s human nature too.
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How interesting! As irony would have it, a FB page shared a Dickinson poem and I shared it(something to do with ocean waves, perhaps)…although knowing very little about her. It turns out one of the original members of AiB is a big fan and suggested I dig further into Dickinson. I read a slim volume of her works…can’t say I love them but they are certainly interesting. Best wishes on your writing! Cheers!
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Oh my! I have to say I am amazed by this topic. I will confess that some of the men that I see as most attractive have very often been considerably older that I am, or was at tthe time. In fact one was 20 years older than I when I met him. And historically, many marriages in English upper and upper-middle class involved age-gaps. So, I don’t see that as a valid argument against the Knightleys being happy in marriage.
In regards to their characters, do we all not find ourselves growing, changing, developing when we begin to love another? We learn to see the other’s point of view, consider their feelings. We may start a relationship thinking ourselves more competent to ‘advise” the other, but hopefully, for the sake of the relationship, aren’t we willing to change?
And for the ‘ucky’ part of knowing Emma since she was born, we may be judging Austen’s society from the perspective of the 21st century society we know. After all, as pointed out, who else was living in Highbury of a compatible social standing? Neighbors could become spouses – just look to Mrs. Bennet’s delight when a “single man in possessionof a good fortune” moved into HER neighborhood! 🙂
Thanks, Kirk, for your post!
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So very well said Jackie!!!! Thank you so much for reply! Cheers!
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Pingback: My Heart Belongs to Mr. Knightley | Sarah Emsley
I’m so glad you asked this question, and I’ve been holding my fire bc I was writing my ode to Mr. Knightley (which Sarah linked to at the bottom of the comments).
I read this as a teen and always thought Mr. Knightley was younger than Colonel Brandon bc he is always described in youthful terms. If I were going to have an ick moment it would’ve been when I was 15, but I loved the rapport btw Emma & Mr. Knightley. (It took me a few reareads and Alan Rickman to get me to come around to the aged Colonel Brandon, ha!)
Re the 13 yr old comment. I completely agree that “love” has a lot of meanings and Mr. Knightley is in part evoking the object of affection/familial love. But also he is totally teasing Emma in this moment … not being serious. Right after he teases her with some examples of her sassy backtalk to which she replies most sarcastically:
“What an amiable creature I was! No wonder you should hold my speeches in such fond remembrance.”
I’ve always been such a fan of Mr. Knightley … that it is hard for me to fathom his benevolence being misconstrued.
Anyway, thank you for putting this out there b/c it’s been great to read the debate!!!
Sarah
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Thank you! Loved your post and your comments above. Go Team Knightley and Team Emma/MrKnightley!
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Well that was an engaging half hour reading the post (insightful discussion question, Kirk!) and all the responses. I had no idea this was such an issue until recently. Age disparity or even a relationship evolving from something of a familial to romantic didn’t strike me as odd when I read this story and others (always loved the Daddy Longlegs story).
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Thank you for stopping by and all you do Sophia! Thanks and great comment “insightful discussion question”, although all credit goes to Editor Sarah. Fan fiction helps too with some needed background. Although, as I mentioned on Goodreads page you so delightly administer, I’m slightly unhappy with the ending of “Charity Envieth Not” because it doesn’t completely dovetail with my views. Lol, more when others finish. And I really like “….relationship evolving….”. The Knightleys will have very little to “distress or vex” their marriage. Another perfect gift from Jane Austen….”let other pens…..”
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I think collaboration is the key!
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What a great discussion piece, thanks Kirk! I’ve really enjoyed reading all the comments.
Personally I’ve never had an issue with the age gap because it was era-appropriate, plus I interpreted the 13 year old thing as a joke as it’s stated elsewhere that he’d been in love with Emma since becoming jealous of Frank Churchill. I think they are quite well-matched in a lot of ways as long as he can overcome the role of mentor. Austen actually tells us that they will be happy together (“perfect happiness of the union”) – it makes me wonder whether she wanted to clarify any doubts that readers may have had.
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Thank you so much for stopping by and posting your lovely comments Ceri! The comments are certainly a wide range! And I love love love your last line, especially with the gloomy ending to today’s post by Deborah Yaffe. The Knightleys will have “very little to distress or vex” their marriage. Period. As Austen said! Cheers and thanks!
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Pingback: Book to Movie Challenge 2016: Emma (1996), Anna Karenina (2012), and In Her Shoes | Reading in Bed
I found this tidbit when researching various re-writings of Emma, and although I am several months late to the conversation, I wanted to contribute my experience of being attracted and eventually married to George Knightleys and Colonel Brandons of my own.
I don’t consider myself to be in any way maladjusted- I have two loving parents who were firmly grounded, and I have been raised largely as status quo. Nevertheless, I have not been spared crushes on my parents’ contemporaries, even from youth. My parents had a very good friend who filled a role in my life very similar to Knightley’s in Emma’s life. He is approximately 32 years older than I, but I grew up very much in love with him through his role as a moral compass in my life. He was never inappropriate with me- has never been- but as I aged into my twenties, our repartee became more flirtatious. It was a gradual change- so slow that no one really noticed it, or cared. He was single, and I was being viewed for the first time as an adult with autonomy. Our bantering never turned into anything. He’s still a close friend, and there is nothing awkward between us aside from our differing political views. I think there was a time there when we could’ve made a go of it- despite our ages and his history as someone who had known me since childhood- but I have married and he has passed the age when romantic relationships hold any appeal.
The man I married is a true paragon of virtue. He’s the best and most wonderful person I’ve ever known, and he is 13 years my senior. I often refer to him as Brandon or Knightly because he is an anchor of maturity and respectful care to me. He is upright- everyone who knows him speaks well of him- and he weighs every decision he makes carefully. It was a consideration that he took seriously when deciding to “court” me, as he put it. He was all too aware of our age difference. Now, five years into what has been the most effortless and caring relationship I’ve ever had, we seem to have reached a mutual age. It is true that this scenario would have played differently if I had been 16 and he 29, but as two adults, it works very well. He remains someone whose opinion I esteem and strive to honor, but his love for me ensures that if I miss the mark, I will not suffer its loss. I’d like to think that’s what Emma got in the end.
The funny thing? Although my husband is from a different city than my parents, their addresses were the same, making him truly like the boy next door, the neighbor on the estate just across the hill.
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Thanks for sharing! Your comments were well worth waiting for and I highly enjoyed reading them. I’m a fan of Col Brandon too. Cheers, congrats, and best wishes!
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I never had anything against the romance. I’m quite aware that couples who had married before the 20th century – probably before WW2, for all I know – were comfortable with the idea of such large age differences.
As for Knightley’s penchant for lecturing Emma, I noticed that she had a penchant for lecturing him as well; whether her lecture was useless (as in the case of his habit of walking, instead of using a coach) or on the spot (as in the case of his constant criticisms of Frank Churchill, which were reactions to his jealousy). Both were able to face their flaws by the end of the story and more importantly, they seemed to emotionally balance each other very well.
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Great comments, thank you!!! I certainly have ignored Emma lecturing Mr Knightley, great point! And finally…great last sentence. The comments are Knightley Approved! 🙂
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I am particularly interested in this thread because of two reasons: one, my background is in English Education, and so I am familiar with the writings of Jane Austen, and two, I happen to have fallen in love with someone named “Emma,” who is 21 years my younger (I can already hear the gasps and feel the disdain from some of you). I have known my Emma for several years now, and I first thought she was a very nice person (who happened to have a boyfriend of her own age at the time). I never thought of her in a romantic way, as I believe was the case with Knightly when he first encountered his Emma. But, as I have gotten to know my Emma (who no longer is attached), I have come to respect her and admire her, and eventually love her, as I believe was the case with Knightly. I have come to see my Emma as a strong and courageous person who shares the same interests as I do. I love her, I will stand by her, I will fight for her, and I will die for her. She has a beautiful heart; I believe this world is a better place with her in it, and I don’t want to live in a world without her. I think Knightly had the same epiphany about his Emma that I have had about my Emma: she’s “the one,” and once you know this, no one else could ever make you completely happy.
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I fell half in love with Mr. Knightley the first time I read Emma. I was 16 then and would have loved a Knightley. In the movie, Jeremy Northam as Knightley was hhot. I’d have married him at 16, or any age. And once I became his equal in looks, intelligence, maturity and capacity for love, and he was single, it’s ON.
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I never gave their relationship’s misgivings much light prior to this post, it does make a good point. I, however, believe that 16 years older is not terrible considering also that men during Austen’s time often did not marry until they were older whereas women were the child bearers (an more likely to die) were married at youth. The age difference, I believe, was also to employ the oh-my-God-he-loves-her because we are not told that Knightley can ever be a romantic suitor we never look at him as so. We as the readers are led to ignore the obvious charm, friendship, and attraction between the two, because it’s pointed out so many times that he’s older. This device is also used to blind George from knowing his own feelings too. This age can also be seen as a point that Austen attempts to make, conveyed also through Emma’s matchmaking, that marriage does not occur just as a you-should-marry-you-because-you’re-young-and pretty-and-you-can-bear-children. It is well ware that Austen makes many a social commentary in her novels about women and their position in society in relation to marriage; marriage is often spoken as something that will do well for people’s temperaments and a good partnership. Knightley had to be older so that we could be led to the fact that what makes them such a strong pair is heir genuine love through friendship. If they had been the same age we would have been distracted with the assumption that they should end up together because why not they are neighbors, in equal positions in society, and their siblings are married to one another. The feelings they have for one another had to be genuine and undisputed and if they were so close to age all the devices Austen employed to get both characters to realize they love each other would have been rendered useless. We must also take a look at Emma’s character; think of her personality and temperament although she is youthful and strong willed her behavior is not entirely to be blamed on age. She has the been the lady of her estate for a very long time now and has flourished in that role; she is not this feckless youth, but a girl who had to grow up earlier and care for people in her life. Her vivaciousness and exuberance are painted as larger than life so that we do not think she is a too serious at such a young age character, like Elinor Dashwood. She is a full blown woman and although she shows a lack of total understanding of other’s emotions, that cannot be entirely blamed on youth, but her father for he is an old man who lacks their sensitivity of other’s emotions as well. I would also like to touch upon the point of how Mr. Knightley watched her grow and how unsettling it was to some for them to have a relationship. He’s not 40 years older than her, he was a teenager when she was born so he so her more of us a pesky little sister figure whose personality entered his world before her attractiveness. This sets a stage where sex and romance never get in the way, we are never distracted by their sexual tension and chemistry. We are supposed to be distracted by such a strong friendship and sense of camaraderie that it is upon rereading the novel that we have to say duh! just because marriage marriage marriage was not whistled around them the entire novel does not mean they are meant for each other. In fact, I believe Miss Bates or Miss Cole mentions at the ball when Frank and Emma are dancing that they are dancing, that they were made for each other. What makes them say this?- the fact that they are both the same age, equal social standing, and pretty. Precisely- that’s it. Mr. Knightley and Emma like each other, they like one another’s personality and the kindness they show to others often makes them smile and happy. Sometimes romance genuinely just happens (I liken this to a Joey Potter and Pacey situation), just because two people should look good on paper does not make it so.
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*does not mean that they are NOT meant for each other- context correction
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Brilliant comments! Thank you!
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I don’t have a problem with Emma & M. Knightley’s marriage because of their age difference. I think in that time it wasn’t inappropriate. I do have a problem with this marriage though: Jane Fairfax. Just like Mrs Weston, I’m not convinced that he doesn’t love Jane more than he loves Emma – or, should I say, in a more passionate way. It seems to me that he loves Emma like an older brother loves his younger sister, giving her advice & trying to protect her (from F. Churchill for instance), whereas he genuinely admires Jane Fairfax more. He always gets very emotional/nervous when he talks about Jane, which makes me kind of puzzled. I understand he wouldn’t want to marry her because of her status & poverty but when it comes to her skills & beauty he seems to undoubtedly place her above Emma…WHICH REALLY BOTHERS ME! lol
I don’t know, maybe I’m being cute about it, but I’d have loved for him to side with Emma more (as we know her & Jane are in competition). If he’s really that perfect then he shouldn’t be afraid to face people’s judgement & marry Jane if that’s what he truly wants. I’m confused…& curious to know your thoughts about this!
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Have you ever thought about the curious fact that we never hear that Jane and Frank have actually gotten married?????
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Great point! Someone was complaining(the nerve!) on Goodreads or FB about the ending being too long. Especially compared to the MP ending…it is just right except the detail you mention.
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Dept of Disclaimer: I’m just a super fan, not a scholar. 🙂 Interesting!!!!! As Mr Knightley is my favorite hero, I take him at his word that he prefers an open temper. Because of her secret engagement…Jane Fairfax is even more closed off than normal…as Mr Knightley notes without knowing the reason. Perhaps I’m wrong…but I don’t see him that nervous(I love Mrs Watson but I think she is mistaken) but pushing/defending Jane more than perhaps would be normal because Emma is failing her duty/sisterhood to Jane(although Emma’s attempts to help Jane at Donwell do her much credit…which then loses at Box Hill!). Jane needs more help than Emma through out novel. I like your comment about Mr K/Emma older brother/sister…at the beginning of the novel. However, I strongly feel their relationship changes with time…I think Emma points out gap of 16 yrs has changed. The way they handle the snow issue at the Westons’ party…the way they handle conflict between Mr Woodhouse and John Knightley etc.
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I can picture a way for Jane and Mr K to marry. Emma turns down Mr. K. Frank is some how out of the picture. Some one reveals that Jane entered into a secret engagement(looking at you Mrs Elton!). Jane loses her position as governess. Her prospects would be very bleak indeed. Mr K offers a rescue. It’s too bad in that society that he couldn’t just offer them a place in the Abbey…especially with tons of unused space. Lol…BTW Emma 09 has a brief scene where Mr K pictures Jane Fairfax at Donwell as Mrs K…or is it Emma’s nightmare?
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I have always adored Knightley and Brandon- they are the two heroes of Austen’s fiction that have most struck me with their appeal as suitors in all of her work. I do not have parents with a great age disparity, but I myself have always known that I was destined to marry an older, possibly widowed man. And I did- not because I was looking for it, but because that is what was meant for me.
My husband is thirteen years my senior and was a widower. He has been a moral force in my life ever since I met him (in church), and his character attracted me to him as much as anything else. I met him in my twenties, and he was near forty. He didn’t look his age, but the calm of his demeanor as someone who had seen and experienced much more of the world and was settled in it was very appealing to me. We began our relationship simply by working together on social justice projects, and we just grew closer from there.
My husband was married for eighteen years to his first wife, whom he adored. His tender care for her at the end of her life was what sealed the deal for me when he began- very properly- to talk to me about a relationship beyond our friendship. I knew that he had been through the worst a relationship could bring and he stuck it out, proving his character in ways his words could not. As to speculation about what a man like Knightley might’ve done about his sexual urges while waiting to see about Emma, I can tell you with confidence that I am my husband’s second partner, and that he focused on his career and emotional health in the time between his late wife and myself- it is not a given that a straight man must be having sex throughout their lives. In fact, we know many straight men between our ages currently who are still virgins… and not due to religious vows.
All that said, we did have some struggles early in our marriage with him using a patronizing tone from time to time, correcting me more like a child of his than a peer, but he has always been a good listener and communicator, and we have talked through these things and come out the better. My marriage is the joy of my life, and my husband continues to be a beacon for me, and his goodness has helped my immaturity rise into real adult understanding.
So, all of that personal back story to say that stories like Brandon and Knightley are not anomalies, and that it is possible that they can be perfectly healthy, with both partners benefiting from the match— the younger achieves maturity in the safety of a loving bond, and the older learns to appreciate the world in a new way. It can and does work, and that’s appropriate to ALL periods.
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Thank you for sharing!! I love all your comments and congrats on a truly wonderful life. I especially highlight the getting thru struggles part. I wonder if some critics can’t get past seeing the two of them at their worse…even tho Austen has shown us their personal growth. And if I didn’t mention it above…the fact that he moves in with her.
Dept. of Irony…I love that you mention Col Brandon…because he is my 2nd favorite Austen hero…and not just because he marries my beloved Marianne Dashwood. Cheers!!!!
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